I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
