It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize