We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
this is an emotional support booty call
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
