I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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