you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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