hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
