the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
