you guys were way drunker than both of me
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize