thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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