I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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