Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
