I think my fart just growled at me.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
