The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
