its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
