went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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