Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
