I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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