I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
