Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
