What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
This house was built for laser tag.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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