I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I touched a dick in church today
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize