i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
