If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
