Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
and you fell through a lawn chair
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
