yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
