You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
vagina is talking i cant
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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