Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
FUCK WHALES
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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