Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
