Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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