I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
