we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
