The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
