Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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