Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize