I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize