put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
barbara walters just said penis...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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