apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
