She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You pole danced in your parka.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
