oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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