i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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