when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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