I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
