NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
third nipple confirmed
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize