I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
