what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize