I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
