Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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