And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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