I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
