today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
