period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
