I hate all girls vehemently.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
