I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
