Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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