the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
