So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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