Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There r osticjed everywhere
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
