Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
