DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
