take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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